They say when it rains it pours and let me tell you, right now, in my world; it happens to be Monsoon season. I can’t seem to make ends meet and every time I run to pick up one aspect of my life, another starts sneakily sliding. Being a full-time adult is no joke and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
I run my own house and all its finances, two cats, a cleaning lady (who I’m so thankful for but need to direct according to the house needs), a cook that comes in once a week (who I’m extremely grateful for but have to do all the grocery shopping for), my full-time job, trying to maintain a social life, being in a relationship, trying to hit the gym and stabilizing my self-confidence, constantly dealing with things that either need to be replaced, repaired or bought, emotionally supporting those who need me- let me take a deep breath- it’s a handful- all whilst maintaining my mental health and sanity. I’m 26, not even married yet (aka taking care of a full grown child) and I already feel like I’m going through a mid-life crisis.
I am, however, very grateful that I’ve been given the opportunity to do things differently compared to the typical societal and cultural norms of “leave your parents’ house today, and instantly be in your own home the next, trying to learn everything in the span of 48 hours.” Although I do live with my brother and my parents come home every few weeks, I still have a lot of responsibilities and often find it exhausting to be able to think straight and show up at work and perform naturally.
What I’m trying to say is, I’m drained. I’m physically, emotionally and mentally drained and I feel like a clogged high-functioning sewage pipe that’s about to burst at any given moment. It isn’t usually like this but sometimes it all hits you at once and when it does you need to be prepared.
What I’ve learned throughout the past two years of living on my own is that you need to feel ownership and responsibility over your own life and all your stuff. When I lived with my parents, my mother would constantly argue with me for never contributing to the house, never picking up after myself and being absolutely lazy and irresponsible. I use to get up in the morning and expect to have everything done for me and my God what a day it was, if I came home and someone forgot to put my laundry in its proper place or not set my food how I like it. I use to throw a tantrum and a rave festival, a proper two in one special, I was spoilt AF. I look back at that girl and I can’t help but laugh because as comfortable as I was, I was useless and couldn’t depend on myself to save my life.
I still see people I know living the same life I used to live and I can’t help but feel sorry for them. Not because I pity them but because I know how difficult it is to accommodate in the future ahead. I’m not saying you need to turn into a full on nanny (I have my own house help but still like to do my own laundry and cleaning and tidying up) but you should definitely start giving yourself responsibility and ownership, without it being asked of you. I know very well that because of everything I’ve learned, I’m someone that my people at work can always depend on. I know if I’m responsible for something I will always carry it out to a flawless finish. When my dad, for example, needs someone to depend on when he’s not around, I’m his woman. Be it delegating tasks, financials, errands, whatever it is, my sense of responsibility has taught me to own it and carry it through to completion.
I think what I’m ultimately trying to say is, I know that society for the most part dictates how we live our lives. I know most Egyptian parents expect you to live with them till the day you’re married and once you’re off, you start to learn to be responsible and actually do things. It’s a special case for me because my living situation was set up due to the nature of my dad’s job and me being tired of moving countries every three years but the outcome was a success. You don’t need to leave your parents’ house to start contributing, being responsible, being self-sufficient, being helpful and being a leader in your own right. Offer to help organize around the house, help your mother, help your nanny, spend time with your siblings, cook dinner, do your own laundry, have good conversations with your dad. Do all the things that you feel you don’t necessarily need to do right now and fall in love with them before life forces you to do things because you must. If you’re in a situation like mine, take a deep breath, believe in yourself and keep moving forward with might and passion, it only gets better from here.
