I’m angry. Every single cell of my body is infuriated, and there is nothing I can do about it but write it all down. Two days ago, I saw pain, oppression and hopelessness consume one person; this person is a very close divorced friend. I’m here speaking out on behalf of her crying for help, a voice. But I’m also speaking on behalf of others whose voices had been brought down constantly without getting a single chance to stand up.
Apparently, there has been a sweeping trend all over social media called خليها تعنس#. This page has been created to address the finances that men have to offer, when deciding to get married. Regardless whether I kind of agree to a big extent that marriage has become more centered around who pays what and who gets what from both sides, the trend’s dialect is basically what I can’t come to accept.
Coincidentally, going through this heart-breaking experience with that friend of mine, urged me to expose the ugly truth about marriage that many people in this society voluntarily choose to turn a blind eye on.
Coming from a typical Egyptian family, Farida was married to the love of her life when she was 18. Farida’s family fully supported her husband to-be before they got married, because he wasn’t capable at that time to fulfill marriage’s finances and obligations.
With the Prince Charming typical story in mind, Farida was on cloud nine when she got married. Her husband urged her to be a stay at home wife, because as you know, “he wanted her for himself only.”
When days went by and the fake passion started to fade, the Prince Charming story started to become a nightmare. Farida was physically, emotionally and financially abused on a daily basis. Weighed down with two kids, Farida tried several times to find a job as an escape from her miserable humiliated life, but her husband always stepped in the way.
For 13 years, Farida was stuck in a marriage because she was too vulnerable to do anything, especially that her own family rejected the idea of her ever being “divorced”. But in a decisive moment, Farida decided to save what she and her kids have had left and got a divorce.
After several trials from her family talking her out of it, Farida knew that it was time to start a new page. But what she didn’t think about was what comes after. Her family dictated that if she was to get that divorce, she would be completely on her own.
Struggling to get a job as her husband barely provides with money, Farida was turned down from every single job because of her lack of skills. But men in managerial roles in some businesses didn’t mind for her to kickstart her non-existing career as long as she abided by their desires. Yes, this means exactly what you think it does!
Companies, businesses and everywhere in between need to give women like Farida a chance. They need to take a chance on them. Our country needs to provide facilities to provide training for such women who have no experience at the workplace whatsoever so they can learn how to be professionally independent, and in Farida’s case, be able to provide for herself and her children. Most importantly, we as a society need to stop treating women simply as baby makers whose sole purpose in life is stay at home and serve their husbands.
