There comes a time in each of our lives when our gut tells us that something is off, something doesn’t feel right anymore. The feeling tells you to jump, to move forward and start again. Although you might not be sure exactly where you’re headed, when that feeling hits, it means it’s time to go.
Being unstable is a frightening feeling to me and it makes me feel vulnerable and insecure. I’m not a live on the edge type of girl, I’m not spontaneous and I’m not free spirited. I’m strategic, organized and always like to plan ahead. I graduated almost five years ago and since then, I’ve pretty much had my entire life under control. When a speed bump suddenly showed up in the road, I maneuvered around it, carefully and cautiously. Always, one step ahead of the game.
For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m free falling, with no cushion to ease my blow. And for the first time in my life, it feels alright. I’m not anxious, I’m not worried and I’m not afraid because I finally believe in myself. I believe in my potential and I believe in my capabilities. My learning experiences and hardships have molded me into someone I’m actually proud of. Yes, I’m a little rough around the edges and yes, I’m a little turbulent with my emotions but I’ve changed. No, I’ve grown. I no longer crumble when I’m in pain and my soft shells have hardened and matured with strength, grace and patience.
I don’t know where I’m headed or what life has in store for me right now but all I know is, I wasn’t created to be average. I wasn’t broken and bended to find myself on the bleachers, gazing out into a sea of crowded faces, as they watch the players fight and scramble for excellence. I crave excellence.
I don’t know who I’m addressing this to and I don’t know who can hear me. But if you’re here right now, breathing my words into your tired lungs, we’re together in this brief moment of fleeting time. This is your sign.
If you’re feeling lost and afraid, don’t be. Whether you’re in an abusive relationship, a job you hate, a friendship that brings you down, a family situation you can’t escape, it’s all going to be, alright. Stop relying on people because you’re stronger than anyone else you know. Stop the cruel voices in your head telling you that you aren’t good enough, beautiful enough, thin enough, brave enough, smart enough because you know what, you’re all of that and so much more.
When your gut tells you it’s time to jump, you jump.
