Sometimes I wish I was a turtle so I can easily shroud into my shell, indifferently avoiding certain types of people that I bump into almost every day. I have realized that I put together a set of high-level strategies, using my developed skill of maneuvering to get away from specific people with specific jobs that I don’t necessarily need in my life.
Here are six types of people that we all (let’s not lie) run and hide away from without even knowing.
El-Sayes
via Al-Watan
The thing I fear more than deep water (because sharks give me nightmares) is that little person in red (or whatever outfit they’ve put on) that comes out in the form of el sayes. I can’t actually recall how many times I’ve had to run like a crazy person to the parking lot, wishing against all odds that he wouldn’t catch me. But when I’m out of luck, I either pathetically convince him that I’m broke or I act like I’m quarreling with someone on the phone so he wouldn’t dare confront me.
Phone Salesperson
via business.linkedin.com
Salespeople are the equivalent of that ex of yours that just won’t take the hint and still wants to get back with you. They call you once and you nicely reject what they have to offer, but the chase just begins from here. They start calling you from different numbers and then assign their friends to hunt you down. So, you end up with two options: if you’re nice, you eventually change your number; if not, you let your dark side out.
El-Bawab
via Ghawy Cima
If you’re going back home past 11 pm or your male friend is dropping you home, I suggest that you either tactically sneak your way out or accept, open-heartedly, that your bawab will give you looks for the rest of the week. This applies only to women because we sadly live in a sexist, sexist world.
Your HR Manager
via Faking News
Do you see this look? Yup, that’s exactly how your HR put you through the wringer about your two days leave, or your newly adopted bohemian attire in the office. To be honest, your HR Manager is someone you can’t hide from for too long, so you better get your stuff together.
Your Boss – When You’re Late
via CareerBuilder.ca
You know that moment when you’re late to work (for the millionth time) and the first person you bump into is your boss? I usually feel like faking my own death and dropping dead with a heart attack. In such a critical situation, I come up with a very intense story (that includes a lot of details) about a tragic accident that was about to end the entirety of the human race. Exaggeration is needed!
The Bill Collector
via Giphy
Bill collectors are savages! They disappear for a couple of months then come back, expecting you to pay God knows how many pounds. I detect their presence using the magic eye (AKA peephole) and leave them hanging there with a hushed victory laugh.
