I just turned 26 and I’ve been feeling pretty under the weather lately – mainly because I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in my life. When I was younger, I always thought that by the time I was 26 I would have everything figured out. I thought I’d have my own business up and running, living my life to the fullest, maybe even married or in love. My reality, however, is anything but. I guess on paper, I check off all the points. I graduated with exceptional grades, got a well-paying job, got promoted several times, worked on my body and mental health, traveled, adopted two cats and took matters into my own hands responsibly and maturely.
Still, I always feel like something is missing. Not necessarily major things but things that affect me and bring me down. Things that make me cry for no reason and make me angry and emotional. I realized your parents can give you the best advice and spend hours worrying about you, your friends can go through situations that give you a glimpse of things you may never understand, you can read and talk to people and go see a professional, it will still never be enough to prepare you.
So, I started telling myself it’s okay. I started motivating myself instead of tearing myself apart. I started teaching my brain that when things don’t go exactly the way I planned, that something even bigger and better will happen and everything will eventually fall into place.
I now tell myself it’s okay that my long-term relationship didn’t last, that the hours of business planning and research didn’t actually take me anywhere, that I still haven’t found my purpose, that I still haven’t lost those five extra kilos. I realized that no one is actually going to prepare you for life or what happens to you throughout it. You just need to trust yourself, trust the process, breathe in and move forward.
You might be graduating, working at a job you dislike, unemployed, still lost and confused, trying out new passions and hobbies and then recognizing you hate them. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. You’ll get there, you’ll make it and you’ll accomplish things slowly but surely.
My anxiety used to drain me, make me afraid to go forth and try new things. I felt numb and incapable but it was all a state of mind. A big black hole inside my head luring me into a space I didn’t want to be in. I’m very analytical and self-aware when it comes to my attitude and behavior. I always go back to the root cause of basically everything and try to help myself understand why I am the way that I am. I’m an obsessive over thinker, either on top of the world or below every deep dark wave in the ocean, I have no in between. And you know what? That is still okay.
So, here’s the advice I wish I had gotten after I graduated.
I wish someone had sat me down and told me that there would be days where my heart would feel like it’s breaking; that I would hate myself; that I would feel like a failure; that my sadness would consume me and leave me lifeless in bed for days; that I don’t need to be married by 26 even though all my other friends are; that my timing and yours don’t need to be in sync; that I will fail countless times; that life will knock me down harder than anything I’ve ever experienced before and that only I alone, with my own help, shall rise. I will learn and I will get stronger, I will learn to fend for myself, I will learn to stand up and speak up. I will learn to respect myself and trust my own timing. I will find my voice and it will all, eventually, be okay.
