Being in an unhealthy relationship can affect your life in major ways. It can affect your mood, your performance at work, how you treat people and more often than not, how you treat yourself. We sometimes don’t recognize the signs of real trouble even though we feel deeply unhappy, lonely and frightened of what may happen next. It can be extremely hard to admit to ourselves and others that our relationship is anything less than perfect and that were actually in deep hot water.
Acknowledging the problems head on and trying to solve them or ultimately taking the decision to end the relationship is the only way to find inner peace and regain happiness. We often go around in endless circles trying to fix a problem that unfortunately may never be fixed. Being unhappy in a relationship can lead to a lack of ambition, unwillingness to normally function and work and constantly feeling like you are distracted and unable to think clearly.
Here are a few signs that you may be in an unhealthy relationship. If you check off most of the points, it might be time to stop and think about your next steps.
Constant criticism and tension
One or both partners are constantly and consistently putting the other down and criticizing their every move and action. Nothing you do ever feels like it is good enough and tensions are always high.
A lack of smooth communication
There is a lack of open, honest, and loving communication between the both of you. Trying to communicate often ends in conflict, aggression and arguing. One partner or the other doesn’t feel secure in expressing feelings or self-doubts and when they do it is often responded to with aggression and defensiveness.
Emotional intimacy is at an all-time low
Emotional intimacy is the connection a couple has when the trust and communication between them is full of open sharing, vulnerability and love. Each partner feels completely loved, accepted, and worthy. When this is lacking, the relationship deteriorates into an empty, lonely existence, leaving you depressed and confused.
You feel disengaged and disconnected
Disengagement happens when one or both people lose the willingness to invest time, energy, and emotion into the relationship. In this situation, you are generally not communicating as much and if one of you tries to, it is met with passiveness from the disengaged person. Disengagement is often a sign the one person is ready to end the relationship.
Passive aggressive behavior has become the norm
Passive aggressive behavior can be non-verbal negativity, resistance, and confusion. It can show up as stubbornness, resentment, or purposeful failure to take action when it is requested.
Being unable to forgive and move forward
If one person holds a grudge and can’t let go of past hurt or anger, neither of you will feel safe and together. Forgiveness requires a consistent behavior change and not an overnight quick fix.
A lack of respect
Respect shows that each person understands the other, and they respect each other’s boundaries. When one person stops respecting the other, it shows that they no longer support the other’s values and needs. Love alone can’t hold you together without mutual respect.
Being jealous and insecure
When there’s consistent jealousy or insecure behavior, it reflects a lack of self-esteem and confidence in the relationship. Expressing insecure feelings and jealousy when there’s no valid reason will only push your partner away
Constant threats of leaving
Does your partner constantly threaten to end the relationship? This is the biggest red flag and you need to face it head on.
Do you notice any of these characteristics in your relationship? If so, it’s time to assess whether or not the relationship is causing you more distress than happiness and you need to consider how you will move forward.
