It goes without saying that relationships should never be about the money but the truth of the matter is, money remains one of the main reasons relationships fall apart. Whether you like it or not, money is a huge part of our lives and a lot of times your salary and your job determine when and how you’re going to take your relationship to the next level. Therefore, it plays a significant role in relationships, and decisions about money go way deeper than who’s going to pay the bill at the end of a date. Especially, in our culture, where men are wired to carry the burden of having to pay for everything. But now, with some women getting paid the same as men and sometimes even more, finances have become a complicated topic to discuss.
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People feel more comfortable talking about their love lives than they are talking about their finances. Relationships, marriages and parenthood are all finance-focused. Yes, talking finance can be the least sexy topic you can discuss with your significant other, but planning your money together will avoid problems in the future. Trust me, you don’t want money to be the reason your relationship falls apart.
Discussing money and finances does not have to be an uncomfortable topic, there are ways to make it easy, fun and even interesting, and I’m here to show you how.
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It’s not easy trying to initiate a conversation about it, so you’ll want to approach the topic casually to ensure that your partner doesn’t feel like they’re being judged. The following sentence can be used to jump start your conversation: “Since we’re taking our relationship to the next level, I want to tell you more about my finances and I’d love if you could tell me about yours.”
Talking financials is a very important aspect that should be tackled before taking your relationship any further. You’ll be amazed by how different your significant other’s spending habits may differ from yours, and you don’t want to face unpleasant surprises down the road.
Topics you need to discuss include, but are not limited to:
- Whether their parents help them pay the bills and if they will or will not help out with financials.
- If you are planning on getting married young, how are you going to manage your financials with your current salaries?
- If you are planning on having children, do you earn enough to support a family?
- If you come from different social backgrounds, will that be a problem regarding your living expenses?
- If one gets paid more than the other, will that cause any problems?
- Who is willing to pay for what? From rent to gas, groceries, travel, shopping and so on.
- Do they have a specific budget for monthly finances?
Put in mind that your significant other’s way of managing money might not match yours — this does not make them wrong in anyway. Focus more on understanding your partner than trying to change their ways. However, bear in mind that if you are head over heels for this person and you’re planning on staying for the long run, then the money conversation has to take place sooner or later.
